My song

Please help a little blind lady who is good fun
Whose blind journey just begun
Help her see the light
And not keep taking flight
She’s a coward and won’t face the foe
So off she jolly well goes
And struggles more each day
With the new things in her way!

Weather It!

Weather It!

What a surprise it’s cold today
Don’t you hear everyone say!
As if it’s magic that it snows
The grounds all white
And people moan!
Oh it’s chilly
We’ll wrap up warm
Before you know it
There will be a storm!
Oh no!
It’s raining
Well what did you expect to see
It’s pouring down on you and me!
Now it’s windy
Well blow me away
A gale force wind I have to say!
Wasn’t expecting that I must confess
This weather surely does put us to the test
Well it changes quickly is all I can say
It’s so hot now
Day by day!
It’s scorching burning
The suns so bright
It’s really humid day and night !
The weather really is a surprise
We watch it daily
There’s no demise
Wet Cold windy hot
Don’t forget the mist
Here’s my little list
of weather conditions that we abide
The weather is something we never confide
Amazed we are at each temperature change
There is such a vast range
Have a good day and keep safe
In what ever climate that seems to chafe
Rosypoems.Wordpress.Com

Jobs

I started off working Saturdays and during school holidays in a local chemist on the till and filling shelves

My first real job was as a drawing office assistant with British telecom. I got this job through nepotism through my dad who worked there . I really wanted to go to Art School but he said no get a job . I had to travel all the way to Waterloo Bridge in London at age16. I remember a man saying to me once you are very young to be travelling this far

I wasn’t keen on the drawing office and was no good at maths for the technical drawing aspect .

I left and got a local job with a Government Office in Southend on Sea. General clerical it was boring and I whipped through my job and helped all the old folks with theirs . I took a maths test for promotion but failed

Then I decided to train to be a nurse and went to st heliers hospital in Surrey aged 18 as a student nurse. Enrolled nurse . I lived in the accommodation which was like a students room. I didn’t really enjoy it though I did well on the drugs round at a higher level Student nurse

I left there and came home. I went to pitmans central college in London and did a secretarial course . Learnt to touch type and shorthand . My mum did shorthand . She’d write notes and shopping lists in it .

I then got a job at Coutts Bank in the city of London . I got promoted and worked at the Strand Office for a short while .

I left there and my boyfriend Husband to be and I went on holiday to the Greek islands for a few weeks

I did some temp work in London when I got back and worked for an Acciuntant Co in London for a while . It was awful and I couldn’t wait to leave

I was living in Barnet at the time with my husband to be and I wrote to various companies in Barnet asking if they had a job From this I got a job with Liberty Life insurance as a typist . It was handy and I walked to work. In hindsight I wished I had stayed there as would have been handy when I had my baby as could have carried on working and it would have been easier for my then husband to work in London and not take total responsibility for working – this is my first mistake

I left there when was pregnant and we went to live in Hockley near my parents . I didn’t work and had three children , time passed quickly . My marriage broke up . It was a shame ….he got nasty and stressed as I didn’t have a job and was very denigrating toward me which destroyed my confidence to work! I had three children Christine Nicholas and Robert

I then got a job in a local government tax office as a clerk in Employer Compliance and got promoted to Assistant Complisnce Officer on employment Status Team helping tax inspectors

I left this job to work in local college as the government were cutting back . I worked in the Registry team, library and was a First Aid Officer

I studied art during this time and did an Access to art and design course and went to Central Saint Martins to do Ceramics after as a degree course in London

During this time my glaucoma got worse and I had already enrolled in Fine Art at Southend College the University of Essex . I did this to year two and gave up. I had a Guide Dog by then Pip.

Then I did volunteering work for Family Lives Call centre similar to Childline but for adults . I did level 2 counselling and worked one day a week for the RNIB in London Kings Cross on the help line . I became a speaker for Guide Dogs. I joined Street life social group and Art Ministry for visually impaired artists

I was offered a place at the Hereford college for the blind. I did a business support course . During this time both my parents died .

Then I got a remote job for six months with Look Uk a charity for blind children based in Hereford but I worked from home as a Project Assistant

After this I retired and took pensions from previous employment. And PIP as by now am registered blind and have another Guide Dog Polly.

I move to Shrewsbury to be near Chrissy my daughter and her husband . I did a speakers course refresher with Guide Dogs.

I move back to Southend as my daughter left her husband and I felt unwanted by them both as a result of unsettled feelings though i did have good friends there and in wales.

And now … here we are… I wished I had stayed put … no more work… registered blind

Alone in Southend … it’s horrible … am planning to move to more suitable area of smaller nature

Back to Shrewsbury or Hockley

What a journey …

Never dreamed I would end up like this

It’s really unfair

Have done too much and been pushed and pulled in all directions with no family support just nasty words from ex husband and manipulative brother and …. . I hope I find some place where people can have respect for me … it is no fun going blind on my own ….

It’s like some awful dream

Life learn be humble and strong

When you are young you think you know it all, it’s not until you are older that you realise you don’t . You have strong convictions about calibre of people, what you accept and your beliefs

Stay humble, appreciate and be kind to people around you

No matter how clever you are, how many degrees you have, stay humble and remember where you came from .

Some of the most kindest people in the World are those who are not clever, not rich, not well dressed or well educated but have kindness and sincerity in their souls

I sit here and am nearly completely blind with glaucoma. I messaged my son yesterday and he told me to stop harassing him, this hurts to the quick doesn’t it, that child I brought into the World and looked after and taught to read, wiped his face and bum and I sit here alone and he can’t even take one minute to speak to me.

The world is a crazy place now

All i wish is to find somewhere quiet to live with amicable company and if my children don’t want to speak to me because I’m blind then that is very sad

I had respect for my parents and was always polite to them . I did not treat them the way I have been treated

I think divorce causes this and marriage breakdown. My husband turned into a bullying monster shouting swearing thumping doors and threatening… he scared us all… he never apologised for his awful behaviour, he should have gone… left us in peace …

I left… what did he do… marry some one down the road as soon as he could … pay no maintenance for his own children and take on hers calling them his own … I supported my children before they went their own ways

This is not how I wanted it to be… i am being punished for it ….

I’ve made mistakes, made bad choices, am empathetic and take the insults denigration from those around me who trample on me like a piece of dirt and don’t bat an eyelid

This is all I can say…

I pray i can spend the rest of my life in peace with people who can respect my situation

God bless you all

In this crazy greedy world where humans supposedly the most intelligent are surely the most stupid ….

Happy flipping Christmas

I hope everyone is ok? Seasons greetings! Christmas hype is busy for some, sad for others. This ritual of excitement, presents, lights, food to brighten the winter months leading up to the 25th Dec when Jesuses birth is celebrated . I have loved all this with great joy as a child with my family my lovely mum and dad aunties cousins etc and with my children . This year I feel very saddened at recent circumstances and quite honestly overwhelmed and isolated and just want to cry buckets. I’ve made a complete mess of my life, been pushed and pulled in all directions by those I love and loved and made wrong decisions and bad moves affecting them. I have this awful glaucoma in my eyes now which is driving me bonkers as can’t see a flipping thing and feel weary. Dear God give me some peace and solace and keep my children safe and healthy is all I ask as I place this rant on Facebook a social media platform . I forgive those that have said nasty things to me and treated me badly with their bullying and harsh words in the past . And give me the strength to carry on . Fight flight or freeze… I have taken flight so many times, keep moving … I long for consistency stability and love and kindness and company
God bless everyone, may people see the importance of their loved ones without bullying and nastiness through their own frustrations and weaknesses .
There are so many divorced women and men I have met, women being bullied by their husbands and leaving, or they are having affairs with other women ….and so on….
and the World full of war still . It’s crazy .
Humans need to “grow up” be less greedy and selfish and think of the planet and people in it

I wish I could turn the clock back, I can’t
When my husband and I lived in Barnet and i had a job i walked to work I should have kept my job and had child minder for my baby daughter . He would not have had to commute to London from Hockley where we moved to be near my family and got stressed and angry and smoked that awful pot which made him crazy and mad and scared me and my children off .

When he did. I should have stayed in my marital home for my children’s stability at school and myself too in familiar ground
Not moved to Southend in some stupid little flat…then house in Colchester road

And then… I moved up to Shrewsbury to be near my daughter and I thought this is it … I felt safer and warm to be near her and her husband . But she pushed me away… my eyesight was getting worse . It’s scarey… the demise of their marriage manifested in the way they dealt with me , it was not comfortable. Shrewsbury is a lovely place much nicer than Southend on sea but I panicked and got manipulated by my brother to come back here . I hate it and my eyesights worse … I want to go back to Shrewsbury …
When I first was there I was happy my eyes were not too bad and I had my hair done by Sarah
Joined Shire choir. Oxon church drumming met Mark a lovely man in wales
Tanya my lovely PA. Would have lunch with Chrissy and Mike, walks etc. Polly and Betsie their dog were great friends …

So now… I sit here in Southchurch my latest flight path , alone , with Katy cat on my lap and Polly guide dog , half blind and alone ….

How strong do you have to be ….

I must move on and find some company and love and kindness to end my days in peace

I will ……I must not be that plank that people walk all over …even if I can’t see…

I apologise to all concerned if i have done the wrong thing

Happy Flipping Christmas 🎄 🧑‍🎄

Flight or fight

Ever since my eyes had their demise

A flight I have taken

My World it has shaken

No one knows what I go through day by day

They run away

Too

So they don’t have to deal

With the way that I feel

If kindness I had

My eyes would not be so bad

Give me some peace

Love and kindness

Don’t go away

Please stay ….

Sunny Katy

Sun shine on my pussycat Katy

You took the back seat when Polly Guide Dog came along

But you still sing your song

You are a little beauty

Who always does her duty

Sitting on the new couch

Scratching it again! Ouch!

And all the other little things you do

So we know that you are you!

You love to sit in the sun

And lap up all the heat

Which is pretty neat 

For pretty girl like you

To do

Love you Katy cat

Spirits

The other day my echo started reading a chapter from a book I had on audio about our bodies and lives and mentality . It was saying home laughing Is healthy and having a purpose . Then it stopped and started playing Nat King Cole songs, my mums favourite …. I think my mum was here … Is here with me … she was… she is….book is Age Proof by Professor Anne Kenny ….