What can you see
Me
What I see
You
In all clarity
Through my mind
I see you
What you’ve done
What you say
With age
Comes wisdom
As well as hope
There is always the scope
For alteration
Manipulation
Change
Today
What can you see
Me
What I see
You
In all clarity
Through my mind
I see you
What you’ve done
What you say
With age
Comes wisdom
As well as hope
There is always the scope
For alteration
Manipulation
Change
Today
I always remember when I was in marital home and my husband was being really rotten to me my daughter about 15 at the time said “mum you had better leave”
I never forget that ….
They say children are influenced by parents . I think my children took on his disregard for me …
I’m not as strong as them, I’ve been trampled on
It’s such a shame
I was a quiet girl . Wouldn’t hurt a soul
And goodness knows what I got involved with
It could of and should of been so different
A pretty quiet little girl
Never said boo to a goose
Then in my naivety
Fragility
Was let lose on the World
And what a World it has been
I would never dream
All the adversity and manipulation
Now I’m in this awful situation
I can’t see
Alone
They have shouted and gone
My family
Whilst i sit here
In fear with tears
And glaucoma eating my eyes
What a terrible demise!
Its tragic
What happened to the magic
I once had
With life when I was glad
So help me God to find a way
To stay
With a semblance of a life
Amid this strife
Please kind sensible people find your way
To make my day
More bearable
Enjoyable
Or Switzerland I must go
To end it all I know
What point is there to this
With no one near to kiss
Or children giving hugs
Share tea in pretty mugs
Walk along the beach
Sunday roast round a table together
With funny jokes and laughs forever
I must find a new pace
Before it is too late …
Alone I sit hear
And shred another tear
Switzerland is calling
As the day is dawning …
People change when they are not well or going through trauma
It is at this time that they need the support of their family and friends
Sometimes because of their behaviour these people walk away and neglect them
They really need people at this time
People wonder why people commit suicide and it because they have been neglected by the ones who should be there for them
Think about it
Think about your behaviour and your reactions to things
Think about your humble being and think about how conceited you are
And how important you are to yourself and how selfish you are
People who are going through trauma and change need support and kindness
Pushed and pulled in all directions
Mainly thought as good intentions
From a cosy home in Hockley I do recall
I moved with friends to a tower tall
In Bow i did abide
And then with my husband at my side
We moved to a maisonette in New Barnet town
It was great I never did frown
Close to work for me and him
Our family life did begin
Married then
And not just maybe
I was expecting a little baby
With flight I wanted to be near
My mum and dad so very dear
So upheaval to Hockley again
Several houses we did abide
Nearer town centre was just fine
The journey was long by train
For my husbands work schedule you see
No free time for him or me
Three young children to be fed and watered
Two sons and a daughter
His hours were long
And I did struggle
We got ourselves in an awful muddle
I wanted a job it was not easy
He shouted a lot
And made me queasy
Scared and out of sorts
He could not abide
No job I had at his side
He smoked some skunk I think
It made him think
Like a mad crazy man
So it was alarming
To me and my children
It was quite harming
I never wanted to be divorced
I had loved him dearly
I do of course
But he denegrated me with words no hits
And I felt awful
All in bits
No confidence couid I withhold
So he had to be told
I’m leaving I said to him
And off to Southend on sea
I did flea
A silly mistake it had to be
I should have stayed in hockley
Where safest would have been
For me and my children
My dad suggested sell and go
And so all the trauma I did bestow
A job for the government I did get
And a house
I will never forget
My daughter fled to the Midlands
And boys studied hard
For their degrees
They all did well
Despite it all
They are great children
I felt so guilty
I should not have left my Hockley home
It should be known
My dads wrong choice
But that is it
I then worked at the college
With some diversions
Art, College for the blind, counselling
What aversions
Glaucoma causing so much stress
And duress
So off to Shrewsbury I did go
To be near Chrissy and Mike
It seemed to flow
To be just right
I felt happy and content
This was obviously meant
To be!
The first night I lay in that bed
And felt happiness in my head
Near my lovely daughter true
It seemed a cue
To be happy
Made lots of friends and did this and that
But my eyes got worse and
That is that
It caused me much distress
And on my own
I panick a lot and groan
I rush to my brother
Hockley solace
Fight or flight
I take my pace
I’ve driven Chrissy round the bend
As by myself I try to defend
My sight loss is driving me crazy
With vision loss
It is all too hazy
A pandemic we then endure
Alone at home
It is no cure
Isolation feels just awful
We had to be so careful
Shrewsbury was a beautiful place
But it all went pear shaped
What a disgrace
So I took flight to Southend
I wish I had not it’s true
Flight again
I mistrue
As Chrissy left to go to Brum
For some peace away from her husband and her mum
I miss her dearly and my sons
It is not what I had planned
When my life had begun
I’m sorry children for my wrong choices
So different it could have been
It’s been some awful dream
If I could turn the clock back and start again
Things done different
If somewhat mundane
Please forgive me for my errors in life
It’s been a lot of strife
Please God take me to that place
A haven of Solace
To spend my last days in peace
And content
To enjoy the simple things in life
Walks, tea, friends, holidays
No strife
I done too much
I know I tried
And many days
I’ve simply cried
For stupid things that I have done
I want just fun
I am an idiot I know it’s true
But my family I do love you
Chrissy Nick and Rob
Your dad tried
But his words and action made me cry
And quiver
I was just a quiet girl
Could not cope with all this whirl
Love and peace is all
I give
Pushed and pulled in all directions
Mainly thought as good intentions
That no one wants to know you when you are truly struggling as I am now in a grey mist of sight loss
Life is a game of survival of the fittest isn’t it ….
How sad it is
And cruel
It is
That the people who you love …. Well …
Sleep
I hope I sleep
Forever ….
Amen
I’m sitting here with Katy cat on my lap
I’ve made a big mishap
Of it all
I think
A great big stink
The glaucoma in my my eyes
Is my demise
I can barely see
It’s just misty
And no one wants a blind person
Whose eyes atrophy
Well not my family
Anyway ….
Life is a game
It’s not the same
Survival of the fittest
If you don’t fit the bill
Nor have the will
Then you are left alone
And if you moan and groan
It’s no good
I feel unwell
But no one can tell
They shout and holler
At me
Whilst I’m finding it hard
To get by
On my own
The fog is bigger
And I’m struggling
But it’s a game of survival of the fittest
Unless I drop to the floor
They can’t see me no more
It’s what it is
No one can believe I am in a struggle
And muddle
Til I drop to the floor
And am of this earth no more
Amen
We don’t need to be perfect in order to feel good. Nor do we need to live perfect lives. Unhappiness doesn’t grow from the absence of personal perfection. Nor is it the by-product of less-than-ideal situations. It’s the upshot of believing that things ‘should’ be better than they are. High expectations, based on superficial comparisons, result in pain. Conversely, high levels of acceptance, based on tolerance, lead to joyfulness. This week, the Full Moon encourages you to appreciate and celebrate what you have.
To find that peaceful haven
Up on a hill
Where the air is clear
And very still
Solace embrace
Kindness warmth and love
Empathy from the heart
Shine under the stars above
Hope is happiness wrapped up In a scarf
Once the sun shines you can take off that scarf
The warmth of the sun is your hope
How amazing is our planet
The life that has evolved on it
And how crazy is man
Who strives to improve
But often ruins it