My Life

Pushed and pulled in all directions 

Mainly thought as good intentions 

From a cosy home in Hockley I do recall

I moved with friends to a tower tall

In Bow i did abide 

And then with my husband at my side 

We moved to a maisonette in New Barnet town

It was great I never did frown

Close to work for me and him

Our family life did begin 

Married then 

And not just maybe 

I was expecting a little baby 

With flight I wanted to be near 

My mum and dad so very dear

So upheaval to Hockley again

Several houses we did abide 

Nearer town centre was just fine

The journey was long by train

For my husbands work schedule you see 

No free time for him or me

Three young children to be fed and watered 

Two sons and a daughter 

His hours were long 

And I did struggle 

We got ourselves in an awful muddle 

I wanted a job it was not easy 

He shouted a lot 

And made me queasy 

Scared and out of sorts 

He could not abide 

No job I had at his side 

He smoked some skunk I think

It made him think

Like a mad crazy man

So it was alarming 

To me and my children

It was quite harming 

I never wanted to be divorced 

I had loved him dearly 

I do of course 

But he denegrated me with words no hits 

And I felt awful

All in bits 

No confidence couid I withhold 

So he had to be told 

I’m leaving I said to him

And off to Southend on sea 

I did flea 

A silly mistake it had to be 

I should have stayed in hockley 

Where safest would have been

For me and my children
My dad suggested sell and go

And so all the trauma I did bestow

A job for the government I did get 

And a house 

I will never forget 

My daughter fled to the Midlands 

And boys studied hard 

For their degrees 

They all did well

Despite it all

They are great children

I felt so guilty

I should not have left my Hockley home 

It should be known

My dads wrong choice 

But that is it 

I then worked at the college 

With some diversions 

Art, College for the blind, counselling 

What aversions 

Glaucoma causing so much stress 

And duress 

So off to Shrewsbury I did go

To be near Chrissy and Mike 

It seemed to flow 

To be just right 

I felt happy and content 

This was obviously meant 

To be!

The first night I lay in that bed 

And felt happiness in my head 

Near my lovely daughter true 

It seemed a cue 

To be happy 

Made lots of friends and did this and that 

But my eyes got worse and

That is that 

It caused me much distress 

And on my own

I panick a lot and groan

I rush to my brother 

Hockley solace 

Fight or flight 

I take my pace 

I’ve driven Chrissy round the bend

As by myself I try to defend 

My sight loss is driving me crazy

With vision loss 

It is all too hazy

A pandemic we then endure 

Alone at home 

It is no cure 

Isolation feels just awful

We had to be so careful

Shrewsbury was a beautiful place 

But it all went pear shaped 

What a disgrace 

So I took flight to Southend 

I wish I had not it’s true 

Flight again 

I mistrue 

As Chrissy left to go to Brum

For some peace away from her husband and her mum

I miss her dearly and my sons 

It is not what I had planned 

When my life had begun 

I’m sorry children for my wrong choices 

So different it could have been

It’s been some awful dream

If I could turn the clock back and start again 

Things done different 

If somewhat mundane 

Please forgive me for my errors in life 

It’s been a lot of strife 

Please God take me to that place 

A haven of Solace 

To spend my last days in peace 

And content 

To enjoy the simple things in life 

Walks, tea, friends, holidays 

No strife 

I done too much 

I know I tried 

And many days 

I’ve simply cried 

For stupid things that I have done

I want just fun

I am an idiot I know it’s true 

But my family I do love you 

Chrissy Nick and Rob

Your dad tried 

But his words and action made me cry

And quiver

I was just a quiet girl

Could not cope with all this whirl

Love and peace is all

I give 

Pushed and pulled in all directions 

Mainly thought as good intentions


Author: Rosy

I became interested in poetry and try to write about things from my heart that are associated with events in my life or events going on in the World at large or closer to home. I am a visual artist and still am to a certain extent having exhibited some of my work as a visually impaired artist using sponges to paint. I have lost most of my eyesight in recent years to advanced glaucoma and my vision is now very limited I am finding my creativity now evolving in writing poetry and hope to publish my own book of verse in the future. I have a blog page on Wordpress where I share my poetry, art, photography, thoughts and favourite quotes and prayers at

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