Pushed and pulled in all directions
Mainly thought as good intentions
From a cosy home in Hockley I do recall
I moved with friends to a tower tall
In Bow i did abide
And then with my husband at my side
We moved to a maisonette in New Barnet town
It was great I never did frown
Close to work for me and him
Our family life did begin
Married then
And not just maybe
I was expecting a little baby
With flight I wanted to be near
My mum and dad so very dear
So upheaval to Hockley again
Several houses we did abide
Nearer town centre was just fine
The journey was long by train
For my husbands work schedule you see
No free time for him or me
Three young children to be fed and watered
Two sons and a daughter
His hours were long
And I did struggle
We got ourselves in an awful muddle
I wanted a job it was not easy
He shouted a lot
And made me queasy
Scared and out of sorts
He could not abide
No job I had at his side
He smoked some skunk I think
It made him think
Like a mad crazy man
So it was alarming
To me and my children
It was quite harming
I never wanted to be divorced
I had loved him dearly
I do of course
But he denegrated me with words no hits
And I felt awful
All in bits
No confidence couid I withhold
So he had to be told
I’m leaving I said to him
And off to Southend on sea
I did flea
A silly mistake it had to be
I should have stayed in hockley
Where safest would have been
For me and my children
My dad suggested sell and go
And so all the trauma I did bestow
A job for the government I did get
And a house
I will never forget
My daughter fled to the Midlands
And boys studied hard
For their degrees
They all did well
Despite it all
They are great children
I felt so guilty
I should not have left my Hockley home
It should be known
My dads wrong choice
But that is it
I then worked at the college
With some diversions
Art, College for the blind, counselling
What aversions
Glaucoma causing so much stress
And duress
So off to Shrewsbury I did go
To be near Chrissy and Mike
It seemed to flow
To be just right
I felt happy and content
This was obviously meant
To be!
The first night I lay in that bed
And felt happiness in my head
Near my lovely daughter true
It seemed a cue
To be happy
Made lots of friends and did this and that
But my eyes got worse and
That is that
It caused me much distress
And on my own
I panick a lot and groan
I rush to my brother
Hockley solace
Fight or flight
I take my pace
I’ve driven Chrissy round the bend
As by myself I try to defend
My sight loss is driving me crazy
With vision loss
It is all too hazy
A pandemic we then endure
Alone at home
It is no cure
Isolation feels just awful
We had to be so careful
Shrewsbury was a beautiful place
But it all went pear shaped
What a disgrace
So I took flight to Southend
I wish I had not it’s true
Flight again
I mistrue
As Chrissy left to go to Brum
For some peace away from her husband and her mum
I miss her dearly and my sons
It is not what I had planned
When my life had begun
I’m sorry children for my wrong choices
So different it could have been
It’s been some awful dream
If I could turn the clock back and start again
Things done different
If somewhat mundane
Please forgive me for my errors in life
It’s been a lot of strife
Please God take me to that place
A haven of Solace
To spend my last days in peace
And content
To enjoy the simple things in life
Walks, tea, friends, holidays
No strife
I done too much
I know I tried
And many days
I’ve simply cried
For stupid things that I have done
I want just fun
I am an idiot I know it’s true
But my family I do love you
Chrissy Nick and Rob
Your dad tried
But his words and action made me cry
And quiver
I was just a quiet girl
Could not cope with all this whirl
Love and peace is all
I give
Pushed and pulled in all directions
Mainly thought as good intentions
Rosy’s Ramblings 