journal

people say to me i should write a journal every day, i have several times tried to do this but it always sounds a bit boring, i have tended to write a poem to express my feelings.

In last few weeks there have been major changes, there is a pandemic all over the World and lots of people are dying, it is awful, coronavirus-19 and the World is on lock down and not allowed out the house, how long this will go on for we dont know it has affected everything, economy, socialisation, families, work everything, a tiny virus !

i was doing quite well since i moved to Shrewsbury, Shropshire to be near my daughter, when i first got here my glaucoma pressures were ok and i was coping very well with the vision i had.  I joined a choir, a local church, have a regular friend Jeanette who i go out for lunch with once a week and now an art class. Just started a yoga class and made a few friends.  Write some poetry.  Katy cat loves the garden as does Polly Guide Dog.  My daughter and her husband who live round the corner are very busy with their lives and i suppose i wish i could see them more.  I thuoght during the lock down i would stay with them but i do not which seems a bit sad to me.  I feel extremely isolated and my glaucoma has taken a big turn for the worse, really since the pandemic started, it is scarey stuff like something out of a movie!. i keep having regrets of the past, i have done so much been so many places and really have made some big mistakes in decisions i have made and where i have lived over the years. i realise i have tried to do too much over the years and really i need some peae and quiet and stability and really wish i had a nice man in my life to share with.  I feel the glaucoma in my eyes and making me vision impaired will not appeal to men!  i feel very overwhelmed with the sight loss . Still dont know where to live and often wish i was back by the seaside as miss the sound of the sea. I have lived in Essex all my life and to move to Shrewsbury, apart from having the sight loss is a very big upheaval and change.

I pray my family keep safe from this virus it is awful and wish to be in safe haven away from it all and pray i can keep what little vision i have left, and not bore people any more with it.  It seems such a shame that i have taken a retirement to be here nearmy daughter and could have pleasant life and then my sight is taken from me! how unfair and awful is this!